‘LOVE’ something with a deeper meaning, which cannot be defined with mere words.

Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. As it opens up your heart, and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up completely.

This is for you, someone, who has my heart. I might seem to have lost my common sense, my dexterity to comprehend and even come up as a dock head but I can’t resist your presence lingering in my head day in and day out. No matter how hard I try, I can’t find a way to keep myself away from being captivated by your resonating light. I just keep on thinking about things that I want to tell you and daydream about it the whole time, without missing a single detail. I smirk at your talks, your laughter, times when you say something or even when you don’t and smile like an idiot, give a big goofy smile actually. This act of stupidity is now an important part of myself, so crucial, almost like breathing and it’s all just because your presence makes me feel renowned and renewed.

I don’t know if its love, crush, infatuation, attraction or something unspecific. I couldn’t find a correct analogue for this tug-of-war within myself. All I care about is your magnificent presence that can even start the earth to re-spin with just a smile, if it ever ceased to spin. Your face- adorns my pleasant dreams. Your voice- has chased away all sanity in me and checked in to a room in me, that I just can’t remember to forget you.

All this ballgame has led to a lot of perilousness and non-stop bombardment of questions in my head which should be left unanswered or for better, be left unbidden. I may not be with you to hold your hand, but my presence is not a hindrance to hold your heart. That’s all I want to hold.

I’ve heard, a good love is one that sits you down, gives you a drink of water, and pats you on top of the head in peace. But I say a good love is one that casts you into the wind, sets you ablaze, makes you burn through the skies and ignite the night like a phoenix; the kind that cuts you loose like a wildfire and you can’t stop running simply because you keep on burning everything that you touch! I say that’s a good love; one that burns and flies, and you run with it and the love which brings closer to yourself instead of taking away. You are that love.

To escape from this constant dilemma, I keep telling myself, if I am to make it happen, I will. No matter what the circumstances or consequences, I will. This utterance within, strengthens me and lends a hand to escape lot of awkwardness. Because, if you could love someone, and keep loving them, without any expectations. . . then that love has to be real. It’ll hurt too much to be anything else.
I just want to tell you that I don’t love you because without you I am something ‘sort of incomplete’ type. The truth is that I need you, I need you to constantly strive me to push myself beyond my limits and to be better, as a person. I constantly try to bring forth a better version of myself as it’s your presence that makes my flaws to disappear and brings forth the good in me.

Though I have always been a quitter, constantly running away from faceoffs and giving up easily. But this time it would be different, I will fill all the voids and leave no chapter unread.

Even, when a single day without your smile, passes by, I realize how much it means for you to stay right here with me.

I know I’m nothing special, I am sure of this. I am a common person with common thoughts and leading a common life. My name will soon be forgotten, but I’ve loved you with all my heart and soul, and to me, this will always be enough. There’s no way I’ll be giving up on you because without you I’m a disaster……

 

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