“AND, AFTER ALL, WHAT IS A LIE? TIS BUT A TRUTH IN A MASQUERADE”

                                                            -LORD BYRON

Sometimes, we all need to walk down that silent, resilient boulevard in our lives which appears to be endless and leads nowhere, but keeps us going, as we don’t have a choice to stop. Not even to catch our breaths, because, the moment we hold ourselves down, it’ll lead us to absolute standstill and inaction.

 Our lives are being driven and subjugated by materiality that govern and provide meaning to our existence. Though, we’re very well aware that we can be out of breath in a jiff, yet, we are caught up in our own demeanor of building castles in the air, flying on the wings of tomorrow and soaring forward every day, searching for the apt moment that awaits.

In this path, we walk with the shadows, the reflection of our own memories, regrets, hopes and promises. These can only be illuminated by our own essence. Either we admit it or not, we’re often caught up between the lapsed past and unforeseen future. We all are fighting our own constant battles with the ghosts of yesterday and traumatized by cataclysm that is yet to arrive. But in this ongoing dilemma, we subdue the present and what persists, is that haunting synopsis which makes us weak, fragile and brings us on our knees. Vanquished by regrets and driven by guilt, it gives rise to a realm where deliberation overpowers us. Consuming into memories from which we try to run but couldn’t and opening those scars that seemed to fade away in this infinite scope of time but yet persists somewhere as a part of who we are.

 We all have an ordeal with the fear which subdues our conscience, making us feeble and overshadowing our presence. Refreshment of how our carelessness has led to darkness, removes whatever trace of remains we thought, were there.

In the face of thousands of people from different walks of life, I’ve realized my problems are insignificant compared to what people are going through out there.  It’s difficult to comprehend because we haven’t walked their shoes. Everybody have their own constant provocations to deal with, yet, they keep defying them behind the masquerade, to fit in, to be loved or to be wanted by someone. We try to act out, pretending that we’re alone and confined by the things in our possessions.

 At least for once we all know how it feels to be broken. We understand how it feels to be rejected and that chilling sensation which leaves us completely numb while we’re lost in desperation from time to time. We build up hope to find a meaning to our actuality, rejuvenating again and again only to fall back to hit the floor.

I believe, that’s an important component of what defines our existence, one way or the other but, we are so centralized to move forward that we sometimes consider signs which set our hands in flames, tormenting us, but we perceive it as the only light of hope we have, to find the way ahead of those Cimmerian shades. Step after step as we progressively try to shorten the path in hopes that it would somehow end but every tree, every locus we pass by becomes a new start gate to start off all over again. And yet again, we are presented by the choice of whether to give up, or keep on moving.

I know how it feels to get lost in the flood of thoughts and pondering about how things might have been turned out to be? how my day might have been different only if I had made certain choices?

 There are times I feel like I need an ocean to wash all of my confusions, maybe then I’ll overcome those voices echoing in my head.

But though we’re not left with much of that now, something we hope for to last forever, is reduced to nothingness. Now, it’s pointless to rebuke the circumstances because, with no more reasons left at the end of the day, all the accusation we’ve faced are our very own creations. We should be looking forward to make terms with something new every moment instead of trying to linger upon what we couldn’t have.

Recall all that frustration to let go and the determination to look forward turns all that pain into strength instead of suffering. Although, overwhelmed by thousand negative thoughts that cross our minds every moment, all we need is to hold on to that special one, that strengthens our spirits.

 

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